Perhaps the greatest Christmas song written to date

It’s finally Christmas time, the most cheerful time of year. A time to get free stuff, avoid your family, and of course, enjoy the uniqueness of the Christmas season, including all of the wonderful music. However this year I felt a little, dare I say, wacky, as well as needing a grade for my journalism class, so I took it upon myself to walk all the way to the North Pole and get educated by Santa himself on how to make the perfect Christmas song, unfortunately Saint Nick was born in 270 AD, meaning the English he speaks is quite different than the English I know, meaning, I severely misunderstood everything he said and accidentally wrote this song.