Prince Philip Completes His Transformation Into Wraith

If you believe everything that everyone tells you, you have probably heard about the supposed “passing” of Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. He supposedly “died” on April 9th and was “laid to rest” on the seventeenth. I am here to tell you that we have been tricked, we have been backstabbed, and we’ve been quite possibly bamboozled.

Prince Philip is not dead, he is in fact undead. I challenge anyone who has seen his face the last ten years to argue with me. I mean just look at those eyes. According to my very reliable sources across the pond, Philip has made a deal with the devil, but I’m afraid the old serpent won the fiddle contest this time. Without his soul, Philip now roams the British countryside, terrifying his former subjects. Word to the wise; if you are traveling to the UK in the near future, don’t forget your trusty holy water.