A few months ago our school seemed to be overrun with little plastic infants. Each little “baby” is approximately an inch long, with painted eyes and hair. Their limbs are splayed in a seemingly innocent gesture of helplessness, but this vulnerability is an illusion. When I first saw these little figures I had an unnerving feeling that they were looking into the depths of my soul. This unsettling feeling lasted the rest of that day. Finally, I decided to take one home with me to study it further and assuage my nervous mind. Thank goodness I only took one.
That night I ignored all of my homework in my obsession over the baby. I stared at it for hours on end, waiting for it to show its true nature. As the night progressed I began to think that I was losing my mind. If I took my eyes off of it for a second I thought I saw it in a different position. I forced myself to stay awake for fear of what it would do without me watching it. The little monster was going to be the end of me.
I resolved to destroy the thing, but it was too powerful. A hammer left no dent and a carving knife made no mark. I threw it into a wood-burning stove only to turn and find it back on the table where I had picked it up. I couldn’t be rid of the blasted thing. Finally, morning came, and with it a lapse in the demon’s activity. I felt some otherworldly presence depart as the sun peeked over the foothills of Nebo and I thought that my ordeal was over.
I returned the baby to school, hoping that it would not be able to leave, but I have no assurance that I will ever be safe again. I still jump at every little sound. The sight of an actual infant still fills me with dread. Thankfully, I hadn’t seen another one until yesterday, when I found one atop a whiteboard in one of my classes. If there is one that still lives there could be more. Who knows how much evil these imps could spread if left unwatched. Therefore I give this word of warning. Do not walk these halls alone. Do not stay at school after the sun goes down. And if by some unfortunate circumstance you find yourself doing both of these things—and you hear a little plastic clatter directly behind you—run. Do not look behind you. All you can do is run and pray that its little plastic legs don’t overtake you.