A Sigma’s Guide: How to Acquire Female Companions

It is time for some real conversation. It hath become privy to me that you have found yourself with a severe lack of female companions. This doth be a predicament only to be fell upon by cretons like yourself: Beta Males, however, as I sit, at one point in time, I was low life such as yourself. Now then, thou shall sit with me and hush up whilst I define your faults and can only hope that you are capable of growth.

     Now then, good chap, as I sit here looking you up and down I realize much about you. Clearly, you yourself aren’t one for good fashion, you look as if you’ve just crawled out of my chimney after trying to fix your hairdo by hanging upside down. In case you were wondering, no, it didn’t work. Now, most other men of high society would tell you that to truly acquire a surplus of women, you must refine yourself to near irresistibly, however, I’m here to show thyself the brilliant alternative. Ritual combat. This is an anchor in history and is a great reason why we read thine books from the archive about Caesar. 

     You yourself may feel a tad anxious to endanger your life, (which is a little unorthodox) however it would be an honor for you to be ended by someone as magnificent as myself. This attitude must be forsaken and left behind, as hesitation will most certainly get you deceased. Now, you must find out where a one refined gentleman with many a maiden, locate his residence, and challenge him to a duel, no weapons, tools or schemery, only martial arts. It’s important to note that the only way to slay a Sigma Male such as myself beith gooseberries, or to use his arrogance against him.

     Enough has been said, most of us start from sheer pish posh with no advice nor females, however as things are i doth be quite distressed of the current lack of maidens without a good Patron, so, it is you lucky day cadet, I wish you luck. *Tips fedora*