A throng of tuxedo-ed men, in extravagant garments and skittle-colored sports cars, intermixed with women, some wearing glittering gowns, and others bold pantsuits, were assembled in front of a wooden edifice, the door of which was heavily timbered with oak, and studded with iron spikes. The rust on the ponderous iron-work of its oaken door looked more antique than anything else in the slums of Hollywood.
Seeing their grim expressions and upturned noses, one might assume that they were standing in the midst of a sewer, or at the trial of some notorious murderer without remorse or reason. But taking into account the severity of the celebrity character, it is more likely that someone said they admired J. K. Rowling’s writing or laughed at a meme at President Biden’s expense.
Suddenly, the door was flung open, and out walked Oprah Winfrey, the matriarch and defender of celebrity morality, leading the convicted by the hand. When Will Smith proceeded out from the depths of Hollywood’s metaphorical moral prison, the eyes of the bystanders were immediately drawn to the crimson symbol sewn into the chest of his tux: an illuminated letter “A,” for “assault.”
Oprah decreed that this public mark of shame would symbolize his cancellation for the striking of comedian Chris Rock on the event of his admittedly inappropriate joke about his wife’s follicle challenges. Now, everyone who sees Mr. Smith will know of his heinous crime against the great “city on the hill” that is Hollywood.