Second Year Student Life 

How to Survive a Horror Movie

Emma Keefer

Every horror movie has the same. There is a pretty girl doing something and the killer watching her. Then she gets a suspicious phone call or hears something when she’s home alone. Now we all know at this point that the killer is going to jump out of nowhere and she’s a goner. 

Here are some helpful tips if you are in this situation:

  1. Grab a weapon, this is an important step. You need to have some line of defense or a chance to get away. 
  2. Don’t ever go in the direction of weird noises or go where there is obviously a killer hiding. Many people in horror movies have to investigate the noise, no. Leave it be and go the opposite direction. 
  3. If you do have to investigate or you are running away from the noise, always check behind you. They either sneak up behind or in front of you. So make sure you’re going 360 around yourself. Never run up the stairs, always go out the front/back door.
  4. Learn how to run. In horror movies they always trip over their own feet and army crawl from their killer. If you fall make sure you can kick to give yourself a couple seconds and get yourself back up.
  5. If you do kick them and they fall to the ground acting like they’re knocked out, they’re not. If you dare to go over and see if they are knocked out or dead then take the mask off!  Then keep running, don’t stand there and act like you won, they’re going to get up and kill you. 
  6. Never go to or throw a high school party. In every horror movie there’s always some sort of party going on, the killer is amongst you whether they’re in the costume or not, they’re there. 
  7. Never leave your friends. There’s a reason why they say you’re stronger together, you never split up. You’re all going to get killed one by one. 
  8. Never make new friends with people who just moved to town. These people are obviously first on the victim list or on the killer list. Better yet, if you have a boyfriend, number one suspect. He’s not that cute, he’s trying to kill you. 
  9. Always keep your cell phone charged. Whenever the victim is trying to call for help their phone always dies at the worst moment, so keep it charged. On that note, learn how to run a phone with blood on your hands,and don’t call your boyfriend or your friends first, always call 911. Your friends don’t care that much. 

Surviving a horror movie is a very easy thing to do, you just need to remember these simple rules and hopefully you’ll survive.