Onion John

Hello Juab High School! You may refer to me as Onion John, since my real name is a state secret under the highest security. I write exceedingly factual pieces about the goings-on in this quaint little town, as well as informing the general public about what actually happens in national and global events. I wear a glamorous mask at all times to hide my identity from those who wish harm upon me. You may never see my face, but know that I am here, that I write for your enlightenment, and that Onion John speaks the truth!